How to support someone you care about
It can be painful to see someone you care about feeling stressed, low, or overwhelmed. You may want to help but feel unsure what to say or worry about making things worse. These concerns are very common. Supporting someone doesn’t mean fixing their problems. Often, the most helpful thing you can offer is your presence, your patience, and a calm place to talk.
Small, genuine moments of connection can make a real difference.
Let them know you're there
You don’t need perfect words. A gentle check-in can open the door.
You might say:
- “I’ve noticed things seem a bit harder for you lately.”
- “I just wanted to see how you’re going.”
- “I’m here if you want to talk.”
Simple invitations reduce pressure and show genuine care.
Listen with attention and without rushing
When someone begins to share, they often need space more than solutions.
You can support them by:
- listening without interrupting
- allowing pauses or silence
- showing curiosity instead of judgment
- reflecting back what you heard
- acknowledging their feelings.
Listening helps people feel understood, which is often more helpful than advice.
Avoid minimising what they're feeling
It can be tempting to say things like, “You’ll be fine” or “Others have it worse.” Although meant kindly, these statements can leave someone feeling dismissed.
Supportive alternatives include:
- “That sounds really difficult.”
- “I can see why you feel that way.”
- “Thank you for telling me.”
Validation helps reduce the sense of carrying things alone.
Ask what they need from you
People feel more supported when they have a say in how the conversation goes.
You might ask:
- “Would you like me to listen, or would it help to talk about options?”
- “What would be most helpful for you right now?”
- “Is there something small I can do to support you today?”
This gives them choice and reduces pressure on both of you.
Keep suggestions small and gentle
If the person seems open to ideas, focus on simple, manageable steps rather than big changes.
For example:
- taking a short walk
- doing one small task
- having something to eat
- pausing for a moment to breathe
- making a GP appointment
- trying a digital mental health program
- calling a helpline for guidance.
Suggestions work best when offered lightly and without expectation.
Look after yourself too
Supporting someone can be emotionally tiring. It’s okay to set limits and take breaks.
You might:
- talk with someone you trust
- take time for rest
- do activities that help you recharge
- be honest about your limits in a kind way.
You cannot support someone well if you’re stretched beyond your own capacity.
Encourage professional support when needed
Some signs suggest it may be time to help the person reach out for more support, especially if they are:
- struggling to cope day to day
- withdrawing from people or activities
- experiencing persistent low mood or anxiety
- expressing hopelessness
- showing sudden changes in behaviour
- mentioning thoughts of harming themselves.
You can say:
- "I think talking to your GP could really help."
- "I can help you find a service if that would make it easier."
- "Would you like me to come with you?"
If they're ready to reach out, support is available.
You could suggest they speak with someone they trust, talk to their GP, call the Medicare Mental Health phone service, or visit a Medicare Mental Health Centre.
If the person is feeling suicidal, or is in danger, please call 000 or go to the nearest emergency department.
Want more personalised guidance?
Explore our free digital service, based on a proven approach to help people experiencing low levels of anxiety, stress or general concerns about their mental wellbeing. You can access telehealth support from a qualified Medicare Mental Health Check In practitioner and progress through evidence-based digital programs at your own pace.
Your care makes a difference
You don’t need to solve what the person is facing. Being present, listening openly, and checking in can help someone feel seen and supported. Small moments of care often matter more than perfect words.